Articles & Essays
Why College Isn't Always a Perfect Fit and How to Help Your Student
In my 20 years coaching thousands of Stanford University students, I can think of maybe three for whom college was a perfect fit.
What is Resilience and how do we cultivate it?
As we move through life, with every incorrectly answered math problem, grammar-challenged essay, failed exam, broken heart and job rejection (failing and falling down in every way possible), our capacity for resilience is urging us up, dusting us off and helping us go again.
Advice for talking to your student about grades
In many ways, your student’s college grades are a microcosm of their increasing distance from you.
Mining the treasures
The gems that turn pessimism into optimism are cloudy emeralds nested inside unassuming igneous rocks, and it’s our job to mine them.
What are we learning about Academic Resilience?
Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, “resilience” had emerged as a catchall term for a big bucket of concepts including everything from grit, persistence, and coping to mindset, emotional intelligence, and academic achievement. In recent months, of course, the coronavirus pandemic has been sorely testing the resilience of our students, staff, faculty, and institutions. So, what are we learning about resilience?
help for your overwhelmed student
The sound of the overwhelmed college student takes many forms. Sometimes it’s a high-pitched dog whistle kind of noise that only we, as parents, can hear through their “it’s all good” toss-offs. Sometimes it’s a more throaty sobbing through which their words are barely discernible. Sometimes it’s total silence. Whatever sound comes through, your child’s distress creates yet another parenting puzzle: what do I do for my overwhelmed student?
Look away or jump right in?
Living with an emerging adult can be like watching sausage get made. It’s fascinating and a little cringeworthy, and if you want to maintain a positive relationship with sausage, you better train yourself to look away at strategic moments.
It doesn’t go without saying
I get to say things to parents that no one else usually says to them. I say things like, “You need to keep reminding your teen how much you love them and believe in them. Tell them how terrific they are and how sure you are that they’re going to be okay.”
fostering academic resilience: Real tools for real learning
When you’re lifting weights, “feeling the burn” means you’re pushing yourself beyond your previous weight-lifting capacity. Intellectual burn recruits our brain cells to stimulate growth. The burn shows up as feeling bad, frustrated or disappointed. So when you see your child feeling down about their academic achievement, know that learning is on the horizon.
9 things parents can do when your child fails out of college
Having your child fail out of college can be one of the most confusing and devastating experiences for them and for you. There is a deep loss of confidence experienced at many levels. Your teen wonders if they can cut it as a college student. You wonder the same thing.